Like every woman everywhere, I’ve had my fair share of unwanted comments lobbed at me about my appearance. Exist in the world as woman and your appearance is perceived as public intellectual property. Men specifically seem to feel the most entitled to share opinions on what I look like, whether those thoughts are solicited or not (and they usually are not).
Though there have been many times that men have shared their feelings about me and my hair, makeup, and overall appearance, I find it the most perversely amusing to hear men’s thoughts about my clothing.
In 2010, I lived with two roommates in college, one of whom was a very lovely guy. As it was college, and we were often either going out or getting ready to go out together, I got in the habit of asking my roommates what they thought of different outfits when I was getting dressed for the night. One day, when I had put on a particularly flow-y draped-front shirt, I walked into the living room to ask my roommates their opinion. My male roommate, though opinionated, usually kept his comments on clothing to the relatively minimal, “this looks good,” or “maybe something warmer.” This time however, he had an immediate reaction to my loose top.
“Well I like the color but it looks.. weird in the front. Is it supposed to be like that?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” I questioned, confused.
“The two sides hang down, and it looks like, a wilted flower? Or, like, a labia?” He sputtered, flustered.
I immediately burst out laughing (and, went to go change my shirt). Though that comment has yet to be replicated, I have catalogued below, for your reading pleasure, the thirteen most ridiculous things that guys have said about my clothing. Some of the comments have come from boyfriends or guy friends, and some of them have come from random strangers in bars, classrooms, and the streets of NYC.
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